Meet the Blogger

My name is Charlotte but I mostly go by Charlie. I’m Transgender (Genderfluid Non-Binary). I was AFAB and have a complicated relationship with my birth name. I don’t hate it but it’s hard for everyone to say, and it was my great grandmother’s. Less than 0.0075% of Americans share my name currently. So, it feels heavy in a way. As a Wiccan, I believe strongly that names have power. I also believe strongly in rites of passages. I feel like I haven’t earned her name yet but I also can’t drop it. If I ever do legally change my name, I will most likely due to a ritual and take it as my middle name so it stays.

I’m Greypansexual. I have come out as Lesbian, Bisexual, Aromantic, Panromantic and now Greypansexual. I love labels but they can be so hard to figure out. I’m sex repulsed.

I have IBS, I’m Bipolar and have anxiety disorder. I’m tired 24/7 and often are in some sorta pain.

I’m conflicted on talking about Religion. It’s always a risky convo to have as its a very tense subject for people. I’ve been Wiccan since Aug 2012, started to worship Loki Dec 23,2017 after being militant anti-theist. I’m a Progressive Democrat. I was a Clinton voter 2016, and was going to be a Warren voter 2020. Not a Bernie supporter at all, not even trillionthly in fact. I’m a “pinching my nose and voting for Biden with great reclantnce” voter in 2020. He was my final pick but anyone is better than Trump.

I’m a Virgo and I’m such the sterotype too it’s tragic how boring I am! I’m always reading multibooks with Netflix documentary as background noise.

As for bookish stuff? My House Is Ravenclaw, my faction is Eudite, I’m Team Edwadr Cullen. I would say the one pairing to get me the most grief is my love of Taryn and Locke in Holly Black’s Latest faerie series. my fav pairing of all times? Thats a hard one! I really love Alec and Magnus & Nico and Will.

I do read manga again after taking a very long break. I’m currently reading The Ancient Magus Bride, The Flying Witch, In/Specture, Little Witch Academia, and how to treat magical beasts.

For music? Twenty One Pilots, Taylor Swift, Halsey, Hayley Kiyoko, Panic! At the disco to just name a few. Most repeat song of late? Tones and I’s dance money, The HU’s Wolf Totem and Imagian Dragon’s Thunder.

For gaming? I suck. I really really do! I play 7 Days to die (poorly), Stawdew valley (erm…poorly), Animal Crossing (slightly less poorly) and Pokemon on 3DS/ SwitchLite. I love to game, I just suck so badly its hard to watch.

When not being boring and bookish? I’m an activist! I march for Immigration reform such as Driver IDs for all and better treatment for undocumented immigrants. I do alot of work making my local UU church more disabled inclusive and transgender inclusive. I also am addicted to bike riding in spring/fall. I love to take photos.

What is special to me that isn’t a book? My fox plush! I got a red fox plushie off of Amazon that I named Loki. They are also a gift to the God Loki. I also got an arctic fox and fennec fox by the same creator. All named Loki and gifted to the God Loki. My pink flowery kids blanket. It’s been charmed by me to “block” out anxiety or cribbling dysphoria. My Thor’s hammer necklace. Sometimes I’m scared to wear it due to being white and the common belief only Neo-Nazis wear Thor’s hammer.

My pronouns are They/Them but I’m trying to normalizing using my neo pronouns which are Xe/Hirs/Hirself. I didn’t realize I wasn’t cis until 2018. I would say my age but I always worry I sound so immature that people would just tease the hell out of me if they knew my age, so let’s say Over 30 but under 40. My birthday is 9/4, I share it with Hermione Granger and Bella Swan, both of which are also Virgos and A+ blood.

I believe faeries are real, same with most mythical creatures. Sometimes I get down too low and watch too many shows on weirdness. Such as Bigfoot, Mothman,ect. I know I know, my Lunar Aquarius is showing. My rising sign is Gemini.

Why did I go down this rabbit hole? I wanted friends. I struggle alot to make and then keep friends. I’m just too awkward too weird but never weird in the right ways. ARCs or making money was never on my radar really. I am a sucker for pre-order goodies rho.

This came out more wordy than planned but what can I say….I’m a Virgo and a Ravenclaw. (You can take Harry Potter out of my cold dead hands, TERFS) Hmm…what else. Ah! I was a Simon & Clary shipper. I hate love triangles, and always root for the girl to pick the best friend over the bad boy stranger. Jude is a rotten sister, Taryn is the best sister, and Locke isn’t the bad guy in the series.

Okay, now I’m just rambling so gonna end this here for now. Maybe I’ll do check ins every so many months to show what I am bloomed into. We’ll see. I don’t just want to post reviews after reviews. So boring to write up and I know so boring to read. Whelp, onto the next!

When your job is book blogging but your community wants you to take on every single thing not book blogging

This will be a VERY risky post with current ciliment and I mean job loosely. I don’t make any money at this, if anything, I loose money but books are worth it!

I’ve been book blogging since Oct 2017. Alot has changed. Drama is nothing new. Each thing having a cycle and wave. Audio books aren’t/are real books, Don’t download my book!/I’m sticking it to the man, You don’t need to hate read books/authors we agreed were cancled/who is we and I never agreed to such terms,ect.

Social issues also come in waves. Heated, often rather nasty, debates on who can write what story. From Mackenzie Lee’s Transgender book about a flower seller to Canceling and then unclanceling Blood Heir.

I’ve seen authors canceled for all kinds of crimes. From the author of American Dirt to male YA authors during the big mass canceling that happened when untold numbers of female YA authors spilled the tea. The author of Maze Runner, author of 13 reasons why are just some of the victims.

In 2017, I had only read books that interested me. I’m a book cover sucker, so sue me. Then in Oct, I got curious about all the hype of diverse books. After picking up collector’s edition of The Hate U Give and The Poet X, I went down a rabbit hole. I found the books that would help me come out as Genderfluid Nov 2018. I read so many books with queer rep.

You’re probably wondering weather this is a positive or negative piece then. It’s both.

In 2020, We saw the community on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Tumblr explode. My feeds very liberal/Progressive leaning. As I am a Warren Democrat who was against Bernie, my feeds suited me nicely.

Now, my feeds are nothing but stress. So much pressure to read *only* diverse. So much pressure to *only* protest in one way. Heaven forbid you’re not a hater of cops at the moment and your white and living in the USA at the moment.

My feed has always been a complex mess. One half gushing on new books, showing off upcoming books via book cover reveals,ect. Some Taylor Swift hype. Other half? Non-stop anti-white “jokes”, some of which ended up in their novels.

Posts claiming all bad cooks are white, comments such as whitey tears and other anti-white memes. I even had an author film in an airport and make the statement she hates white woman laughter and wishes white women would be mute.

I had many manic moments. Many manic posts on this blog asking why is this okay and why isn’t anyone canceling them for such comments,ect. I deleted the posts for fear of being assumed racist and canceled myself.

I feel like a white blogger I’m in a rock and a hard place. I like to read diverse but I also hate when I read such books and its filled with hatred towards white people. The Hate U Give assuming all white parties is popping molly and listening to Britney Spears. Not letting Starr’s white boyfriend defend himself when she and her black friends teased him in the car. In, On The Come Up, claiming a white student could write a violent rap song and be rewarded. In, Let me hear a ryhm, the author claims only black youth mourned Biggie. In, A Blade so black, Alice makes repeated jokes that white people don’t know any spices and can’t cook.

See the repeated theme? Oddly enough, I never find the white jokes in books by Latinx authors or Asian authors, only Black authors.

It’s gotten to the point, I almost don’t want to read Black books anymore. That statement alone is hella risky. Anything I saw to defend that statement just makes it sound worse.

I want to support diverse authors. Alot actually. But, I feel like it’s done with so much pressure. Also, I don’t want to spend $13-$15 on a book that will tell me how I’m a horror person for being white. That I can’t cook, I can’t dance, that I must be a molly addict or that I must be a secret racist, only I don’t know that I am one.

I do not support defunding the Police. I do not support abolishing the Police. I do not support canceling authors or books. I do not support pressuring the whole community to unfollow an author or blogger or be unfollowed themselves. I do not support forcing people to give up Harry Potter to prove they are Trans allies.

I’m Transgender (Genderfluid Non-Binary), I’m Queer (Greypansexual), I’m Disabled ( Autism, Chronic depression and Anxiety disorder), I’m Chronic (IBS). I’m also White, tho I wouldn’t use that term for myself. I’m Scandinavian, Irish and English. I’m in America due to my Irish ancestors fleeing Ireland to Canada, and then moving to Mass,USA. My ancestors didn’t come to this country until 1913 or later. None of mine were here for when slavery was legal. I come from a long line of activists. Grandfather was anti-war anti-nuke activist. Aunt followed in his shoes. I, myself, march for Immigration reform, fight for disability inclusion at my UU church and educate those around me about Transgender issues.

I do not agree with the demands of the BLM in full. Of course, black lives matter, all lives matter. (Don’t waste your time with memes about pedo or rapist or murders, your not funny. Not a real gacha,please.) But I don’t hate the police, and I kinda refuse to at this stage. They *are* great officers. They are a few shitty ones. I won’t sign the 400+ petitions, and everyone who posts a “click here for this but its really a thread of petitions” will be blocked on Twitter. Don’t be disingenuous. Just post your links clearly and move on. I won’t be retweeting all the names. My twitter is for one thing and one thing only, book blogging.

Bands, TV shows, Movies, Anime and Manga may bleed though from time to time, as my special interests shift around. (Yay for Autism!).

Posting threats to write our names down onto a google doc to pressure bloggers to speak out is utterly disgusting and abusive. We all have a social issue that is near and dear to us, and we all try our best to educate. I don’t go around book twitter demanding them to add pronouns or be written down into some google doc to be name and shamed. It’s ugly, it’s rotten and it turns people off. Should we only be allies if we’re treated well? It’s always been a complex question. I don’t ally myself for pats on the back but I also don’t like being told my POC friends only “tolerant” me on the grounds I’m white. If you rank your friends based on skin color, your a shitty person. Don’t do it your black friends but also don’t do it to your white friends. We’re trying to understand. we’re trying to relate to you the best we can.

I will still buy diverse books but no longer will I buy them *just* because they are diverse. I want a great vampire story, if the author is White so what? If the author is Black, so what? I’m not going to skin check my authors nor assume based on their names. I’ll pre-order Midnight sun regardless if the community wants to allow it, I’ll also pre-order The Damned, not because its Diverse but due to being a great story and I wanna know how it ends.

I’m so over the peer pressure. Bring on the vampires, don’t tell me I *must* support brown vampires if I am re-reading Twilight. You’re not going to market that brown vampire book to me, you’re just going to make me unfollow you and go back to my Twilight re-read. Sorry, not sorry.

This blogger won’t be pretaking in cancel culture on Twitter. If I stop reading someone, it’ll be 100% my choice and with strict search for proof of claims.

Book Review: A Phoenix First Must Burn

Another one of the books I got that is short stories by different authors. I didn’t know that many authors from this collection. Wide range of themes between the various stories. I never know how to review this style of books. Some do each story on its own but thats just too wordy.

Between this and Black Enough, I think Black enough was better. I would still rec the book however. It’s not directed for me and I’ll freely say I’m actually drawing a bank on 99% of the book. Kinda shows the impact it had on me vs who it was aimed at.

This is why you review closer to finishing the book!

Book Review: Reverie

This book took me ages to finish. It’s really a weird book! I think it would do better as a manga or anime. Rep isn’t too bad in the book. I’m still all this time later unsure how to rate or rank,ect.

Isn’t not a bad book, it’s just really weird. If your big on anime and manga, and can read both in a text format, this book will be great for you. If not, it’ll be abit jarring.

Would I rec? Yes, it’s not a bad book and we need all the HEA Gay rep we can find. Would I rec it with the same devotion as Simon? Not really.

Book Review: Twilight

I debated on reviewing this book. It’s long before we had extreme rep demands. Not a Queer person insight. We’ve all seen the Twilight memes bashing the books, movies, fans, authors,ect. But in honor of Midnight sun coming Aug 4, I figured why not? We don’t cancel books on this blog.

Reading Twilight in 2020 vs 2009 is very interesting. Not just because we know now that Jacob is fated to be a werewolf, or about the outcome in Breaking Dawn. The reading community has really changed!

Most bloggers hold books to extreme tests of diversity now. Is there any queer people? Disabled people? POC? Is the author matched up with the community she is writing about? Is it #OwnVoices? Bloggers are alot quicker to cancel and never forgive.

Let’s line Twilight up to 2020 standards. Yes, POC are included in every single book in the series and not as the bad guys while the good guys are only white. Yes, disabled rep. Billy is in a wheel chair due to advancing diabetes. Queer rep? Zero. Transgender rep? Zero. Mental Illness rep? Somewhat. Alice, Jasper, Edward and Carlisle clearly have some varying degrees of PSTD.

Is Edward the perfect boyfriend? It would depend on what your needs are. Would I date an rl Edward Cullen? Hard to say. I’m Greypan so probably not the best one to test the theory on.

Would I rec Twilight series as a whole? 100%! Breaking dawn is my least fav of the 4 novels. Also, if your new new to Twilight…erm…sorry for the spoilers! >_>;;;;

Book Review: Crave

Crave is the clear winner to Twilight’s crown. I loved The Beautiful and I do got The Damned on pre-order. But, Crave is better. Jaxon is the next Edward Cullen. Is he as good as Damian from Vampire Diaries? Hard to say on that one.

Twilight leaves us with Vampires and Werewolves. Crave has Vampires and Werewolves, but two other factions. I won’t spoil it for you!

Unlike Edward Vs Jacob, you got Jaxon vs Fin. I am 100% Team Edward, 100% Team Damian and with this book? 100% Team Jaxon. I got a weak spot for bad boy vampires in leather jackets, so sue me!

If your looking for a vampire fluff book with a girl closer to Bella than Katniss, this is for you. Grace isn’t as Bella-like as Bella, but not too much like Elana. If you’re looking for a girl MC in the middle, this is your book. If you want a girl MC devoid of girl traits and could be replaced by a boy MC, this isn’t for you.

I loved Crave so much, I pre-ordered book 2 before I even finish the first book. Get this book now!

Book Review: Out Now

If I was using Goodreads? Between 3 and 4 stars. We finally see more Pan and Ace rep in the stories. But still so few for Non-Binary readers. If you flip to the back to see the authors, only 2 use They/Them. All Out had zero, so still an improvement.

There was a huge push to cancel Meredith Russo. She did delete her twitter and appears to have gone into hiding, so was surprised to see she had a story.

One story didn’t even have any queer rep on the page, it was abit odd. Could be a great story for autism rep. But this is a collection for Queer, so..abit of a hmmm on that one.

Would I rec? Totally! Just because I’m seeking Non-Binary or Genderfluid rep, dont mean you need to hold the stories to the same quest I’m under.

Books I bought during Covid Lockdown

For the first month of Lockdown in my state of Mass, I got these books. During this time, Amazon was selectively delaying book orders. Some came next week, others a month. I spend this moth trying to figure it out.

Month of March, I realized it wasn’t worth playing games with the delayed orders, so spent most of the month pre-ordering months in advance.

Mental health in April really tanked. I’m autistic, and the loss of retuine and menu was really getting to me by this stage. Was still doing pre-orders this month as well.

Some of my spring pre-orders started to come this summer month of May. Some should be here but got delayed to Sept due to Covid.

Not included in photos are my Twilight re-buys has I already did a post on them, some books I got on Wicca as I try to avoid my religion on my book blog, and few manga here and there.

Book Review: Once upon An Edi

Biggest complaint: No Queer or Transgender rep whatsoever
Biggest Positive: Religion shown as positive force for good

Let’s get the biggest complaint out of the way first. With the current era, not having a single transgender or queer person on the page isn’t okay anymore. We go around and around in circles on demands to diversity your reading but so few books include casual transgender or casual queer rep. Religion has a bad rep when it comes to Transgender and Queer people within its faith. This would have been a great time to show Trans and Queer Muslims enjoy Eid with their family, and not disowned.

Does it take away from the book? Not enough to lower my rating of it. But, it’s still worth noting. As a Transgender (Genderfluid Non-Binary) person, and Queer (Greypansexual), I like to read books that tell me I’m not stupid for being so deeply religious.

The stories do a great job of showing religion can be positive and even tend well to a community. It does a good job of showing a moral of each story regardless of how short.

I would totally rec this book. If your coming in for some yummy queer or trans Muslims however, you’ll be disappointed.

Twilight Saga returns ( as do I)

Those of us who never stopped loving Twilight ( and those of us who gave in to the hate and shoved the books, Edward/Jacob doll, and dvds into our closet) was bought back to life with the the words “Midnight sun release Aug 4, 2020” uttered into the universe (erm…Twitter).

I had sold all my books on my UU Church book fair. I was getting so much Twilight hatred by all sides. Non-stop on social media telling us how weak Bella was, how Edward is an abusive boyfriend,ect. Mocking how Bella must be dressed due to the religion of the author. Claims about the movies and weather she would allow a black actor. The author herself fled social media.

So I started my journy. Re-buying all the books. I got Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Bree and life & death new from Amazon direct. I got Breaking Dawn and the guide book from a seller. I have Midnight sun on pre-order.

I bought out all my Twilight dolls, de-dusted them and posted them on Instagram. What happened? I lost 10+ followers. Anytime I posted a new Twilight saga book coming into the mail, I lost followers. Before I posted the Twilight dolls and books, I was on track for my birthday goal. Now? It’s more and more doubtful. Do I regret it? Hell no!

Why do I still defend the books when the twitter community threw them into the cancel pile? Back in 2009, I was a baby Queer. I had it so bad for my very closeted Bi friend. Back then, I didn’t see the signs of just how far removed from my birth gender I was.

I followed her every request and demand, let her feel her bisexuality out on me and then claim to be straight and repeat. Slaved for the hopes of every after. Then, she walked out. Moved from Mass to FL with no warning.

She found out I was reading Twilight and become out raged at me. Called it a Cult and demanded me to throw the book out. I couldn’t. I had to learn what Edward was. I was walking Bella’s steps. The border’s person who told me to try it never said “vampire”. I went into Twilight fully blind. Movie trailer blaring on the TVs in the store but clueless.

I related so much to Bella. Virgo, Devoiced parents, plain and just wanting to know why I was never on the same page as everyone else. Twilight became an escape after Harry Potter. I read them in the fall as the leaves turned, it rained alot and was almost always grey with fog.

I remember sitting in the movie theater to see the movie. 22 years old, hardly the intended age group but I was in utter awe of it all. Mom? erm…not so much (She is more into Anne Rice and Steven King).

It trigged a whole love affair with vampires. I went down that rabbit hole so fast. Morganville vampires, Blue Bloods, Vampire Academy, Bloodlines (Tho I stopped it once the main ship became cannon as I hated them two together with a passion), House Of Night. Coldest girl in coldtown,ect.

Some may ask, can I go straight to Midnight sun? There is too many books to read before hand! I…can’t say for sure. It’s marketed as Twilight just from Edward’s view. And for the cover that everyone is mocking, is it the best cover of the 5 main books? No. Is it THAT bad? Erm…it could be better but I am withholding judgement to I read it. I know the mythology behind the fruit, and no, Hades did NOT rape Persephone for the 500 trillionth time.

For newer readers, I would say tune out the haters and pick up Twilight and vibe out. Weather you end up Jacob (I’m totally Team Edward, sorry!) we can still be friends (jk! I really dont care which side you end up on).